XXXIX

BAHHH. I've been so angry lately. GRAWRGH!!

Okay. I've been drowning myself in mindless shoujo manga just because I can't get what I want. It's pretty sad actually. So this is the list of shoujo manga that I've read so far:

Faster than a Kiss
Desire Climax
Hapi Mari

and I'm currently reading B.O.D.Y.

If you're into the sweet, romantic and corny - yet predictable - stuff, then these titles are for you! You can find them all on...

www.onemanga.com

XXXVIII

Heeeeeeeeeeey gaiz. So I REALLY wanted to post this yesterday but the matter at hand was more serious so I decided to save it for another post. But then I couldn't wait so I'm posting it now x)

I'm a BIG Wong Fu Productions fan. I've known about them since 2003 and I've been following them since. I may not have been able to go to their concerts or buy their merchandise but I really adore them. Anyway, one of their latest videos is just so funny that I had to share. (They obvs made really funny ones before but I don't have any blog posts just because I didn't have a blog then ._. ) Here's the link to the actual video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRpxydp2QEw&feature=player_embedded


and the Blooper Reel is even more hilair which can be found here:

http://wongfuproductions.com/2009/12/vlogging-secrets-blooper-reel/


Soooo funny xD; And the first lengthy short that they made that I will never EVER forget can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOyRWuklsiQ&feature=related


And my absolutely favourite one (it came in two parts):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8tPN6mUloY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjQH8qkbtQ4&NR=1


SPENCERRRRRRRRRR!!! <3

XXXVII

So we had a family crisis on Saturday night. My kuya (big brother) got into a fight at a club and whatnot and he was sent to the hospital. He's fine now though. Just some swelling and cuts. What happened was that...

I got a call at around quarter to 2 from my cousin and she told me that my kuya was in the hospital. I ran downstairs, told my dad and we left. My other cousin called my dad too and she told him how to get to VGH. Neither of us knew what happened so I began to worry. A LOT. If you don't know yet, I'm close to my kuya. Sooo much more than my ate (big sister). So yeah. I was really worried and I was tearing up, ready to cry. =(

We got at the hospital and saw who came with him to the hospital. Anyway, long story short... this guy bumped into my drunk brother, pushed him, my brother pushed him back and then there was a brawl. Only my brother's close friend and his older brother came to help out of the many that came with him. >_< Goes to show who his real friends are.

Piss me off so badly. I'm really really mad >:( How dare they do that to him. Those motherfuckers. ARGH!

Good thing he's fine now though so I guess it's all good. But revenge!! GRAWR.

P.S. As of right now, me going clubbing when I grow up is highly unlikely. -o-;

XXXVI

I'm so sick and tired of my church youth. Yeah, we have talent. Yeah, we're really good musically. But we suck at focusing and practicing. It's pretty sad that we can't focus properly altogether as a co-ed group when our leader isn't there with us. It's really discouraging. Plus, we really suck with money issues and meeting deadlines. We ALWAYS have to scramble at the last minute to pay for things and we aren't very consistent at all. It pisses me off so much.

Then, when we have meetings, not that many people listen. There would be people listening but those who aren't, are too loud that no body notices at all. It's really frustrating...


So in my last two years of public school, I've had these two girls as best friends. Let's call them A and J. I've known J since we were in grade 6 and we're really good friends and she totally gets me! A is a year older than J and I and she was a transfer student. I was her FIRST friend EVER in the school, in all of Canada!

The situation is that I think they're ignoring me. I texted A and J to go watch a movie but I've received no replies. I messaged A 4 times on Facebook chat and once on MSN when she was on (cause she never is) and I received no reply. I recently texted and posted on J's Facebook wall asking how she was and I received no reply either. Are they ignoring me?

Plus, the fact that A got invited to J's Winter Formal and Artona pictures makes me upset. Not only am I upset about that but I begin to really miss Pinetree. I saw the Winter Formal and Artona pictures that my friends from PT took and my heart just sank. I really miss them and I feel like I'm missing out.

Suddenly, I felt like my whole world got smaller. I see a third of my classmates 6 days, sometimes 7 days, in a week. School AND church. My world is getting smaller. =(


Which brings me to my next point. Who are my real friends? I don't know anymore. Am I categorizing my "real" friends with those who fulfill my needs? If so, what's wrong with me? How selfish am I... FUCK.


I'm going to go back to being inactive in the church scene starting the new year. *sigh*

XXXV

Okay so I'm finally going to upload the pictures I took of my new EOS Pure Brown and EOS Adult Blues.

EOS Pure Brown

Close-up w/ Flash


Flash in bathroom lighting


No flash in bathroom lighting


Indoor lamp light


Doesn't enlarge much. Natural colour. Okay comfort (it felt more comfortable the first time straight out of the bottle compared to the next time I wore it after it was soaked @_@;



EOS Adult Blue
This time, the lighting conditions are in the pictures themselves.







No enlargement. I thought they'd be lighter =( From afar, you don't even notice them. Not very blue..WHAT COLOUR ARE THEY?! @_@; I wish the pupil hole was smaller. Okay comfort as well. Irritated abit after wearing it straight from the bottle but it felt okay. I have yet to wear these another time since I just got them today.

XXXIV

Didn't our conversation sound familiar? A similar one we had before? Except maybe we had switched roles? HAH. Now you know how it feels. I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling it. What's got into me?

This thought has been running through my head for a few weeks now. Am I still "with" you because I'm scared of being alone? Am I scared of not having you beside me?

P.S. My brother's a jew. He said we were going to go to my younger cousin's birthday party but we didn't because he went somewhere else. What happened to family > anyone else? =(

P.P.S. You do so much for people because you care about them but they can't even do anything back for you. I hope that when it's my turn to have a debut, that I can count on you guys to help out.

XXXIII

JEWS I TELL YOU!!

T____T I miss all my public school friends! But my so-called best female friends don't even contact me anymore! WHAT IS THIS!!! I miss them all! I know they haven't forgotten about me but like, I'm just so envious that they're all still friends and stuff and I'm not a part of it. I was a part of it but now I'm not...

I feel so alone now. And to think... T_T It's not that I'm not happy with my current school - don't get me wrong, I love them all - but I see these people at church weekly and stuff and like... I don't know. I miss PT.

I didn't have as much stress as I did in PT compared to DLS. There's so much more stress involved and like, yeah, more involved but then it's just so different. I miss them!! GRAWRGH!

XXXII

I'm sick =( Got better though so ^__^

Lost our basketball game yesterday by 8 points. We should have played harder after the second half then we would have won!! ARGH. But it's okay. 1-2 with 3 games left next year!

XXXI

My friend's debut was on Saturday night. VERY stressful. =( I was there from 4-10:30 and it started at 7PM. Helped their family and the youth band set up and stuff. I definitely learned lots of things for my own debut :P Teehee.

But yeah. We performed pretty well. It's just that the way the instruments and the vocals came together was really off (according to my father) so sad face =( The girls group (meaning me and my friends. aka ASADAY) did a song and a "special" song. So funny! Teehee x) Here's a link to the girls performing:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video/video.php?v=356938930313

I'm the one in the yellow dress ^_^


SR. Boys Basketball team totally pwned Waldorf today. 112-30. WOW. GOOD JOB BOYS!

SR. Girls has a game this Wednesday against Carver. I hope we do well despite not having practice this week >_<;


So I forgot my dad's house keys and room keys inside his room yesterday. I locked the door too. =( We didn't have any house keys since I didn't bring mine so we ended up borrowing my brother's. I felt really bad because my dad ended up taking the doorknob apart T__T; Poor daddy...

Now, whenever I close the door to his room, it feels weird because I reach for the knob but it isn't there. IT'S SO WEIRD!! TRY IT AND YOU'LL DEFINITELY FEEL THE DIFFERENCE.

I searched for my baby photos for the yearbook yesterday. I WAS SUCH A CUTE BABY x) teehee. teehee. I definitely looked like a boy in my early years and holy fuck, I was so white. WHAT HAPPENED T___T EFF. But yeah. Then I looked at my own father's photo albums and I started tearing up. He was so handsome and fit as a young man! Wow...haha! I love my daddy! <3


Ordered a pair of Adult Blues. I hope it looks light blue and gray more than lavender or purple on me n_n

XXX

wooh. Well, definitely nothing XXX about this post! All I have to say is that I'm dead tired.

XXIX

"To be is to do. And the more there is on your to-do list, the more reassured you are that you must count for something."

This is a quote from Margaret Wente's book An Accidental Canadian: Reflections on My Home and (Not) Native Land but I read it from one of my textbooks in English 12 called The Act of Writing under the essay titled Busy, Busy, Busy.

Wow, that is a lot of italics. haha.

So if you don't understand what these two sentences are saying, it basically means that the more busy you are, the more alive and more needed you feel. For me, this quote speaks how I really am in an aspect of my life. I like to feel needed and therefore, I find ways to be really busy. I feel like I'm alive and that I'm contributing to this world in some way or another by being busy. The feeling of stress keeps me alive! It's strange, I know and sometimes I just want to breakdown and cry but I know that I have to hold my head up high and finish what I started.

On the up-side, if you involve yourself in something that you like, it's actually quite fun =) For example, I involve myself in church, my class and my school as a whole. I'm the social executive for both my class and the school, the secretary of my church youth group, a yearbook team member and being heavily involved in the behind the scenes of this play (and playing a part in it as well) AND being on the basketball team..that's a lot of stuff don't you think? But I like it! It keeps my mind off of things that make me feel unhappy even though some of these events bring unhappiness and stress, it's better than emotional unhappiness. =P

It's strange. It even came to the point where I'm starting to get bothered by the fact that my room is just so messy! I want to clean it @___@


So is anyone else out there like me? To be is to do?